Showing posts with label Ringside at Skull Island. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ringside at Skull Island. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Review of LRW Wrestling Video #9: Hayden Beaulieu vs. The Masked Who Dat?

The Conclusion of LRW's Two-Part Homage to David Lynch's "Blue Velvet"

     The obsessed, sadistic Masked WhoDat? enters the LRW Wrestling mat room to the instrumental version of Angelo Badalamenti's "Mysteries of Love," an ironic choice from the "Blue Velvet" soundtrack. The former resident of New Orleans' mysterious Bywater area of the Ninth Ward immediately reaches into his bag of voodoo paraphernalia and extracts a large pair of scissors, which he holds against Hayden's throat.
"Hold still and I won't stab you..."
     The WhoDat? uses the scissors to cut a few locks of Hayden's meticulously coiffed hair, which he uses in his pre-match voodoo ritual.
A thoroughly cowed Sean Evans looks to the heavens as his friend is terrorized
A dazed Connecticut boy experiences culture shock
     In "Blue Velvet," Frank Booth represented the seamy side of town across from Lincoln Street (a subtle historical allusion) and Jeffrey Beaumont represented the wholesomeness of mainstream culture. In this video, the WhoDat? represents Big Easy anarchy and Hayden (the rural eastern Connecticut resident) represents bucolic New England.
The Masked WhoDat? proves to be a master of mind games
      At the end of the ritual, the WhoDat? extinguishes the human-shaped, black candle and quotes Frank Booth: "Now it's dark."
      Before the match begins, Hayden tries to reason with the Masked WhoDat?: "Can't we talk about this?" The WhoDat? simply extracts a tube of lipstick from his singlet and tries to paint the traumatized rookie's lips, but Beaulieu cries out, "No!" and pushes the masked man away.
"In pro wrestling, this would be known as a foreign object..."
     Once spurned, the masked man applies the lipstick to his own lips and subjects Hayden (off camera) to the sort of forced feminization seen in Blue Velvet's "Joy Ride" scene.
"Oh, Pretty! Pretty, Pretty!"

    
     This bit of "abuse and sadistic humiliation" (a descriptive phrase used by Ringside at Skull Island's Blogger Joe) is followed by a chop to the rookie's chest. Then the WhoDat? uses a full nelson to bring Hayden to his knees.
"Eat the mat, kid!"
     Beaulieu's strategy for surviving this ordeal is clear from the onset: don't do anything to drive this psychopathic masked man over the edge.
"Look! I can do anything I want to him..."
     Hayden's youth and good looks naturally antagonize the embittered WhoDat? -- and offer a rationale for his cruelty.
Hayden's perfect hair provokes the jealous WhoDat?

"I'll rip that hair right out of your scalp!"
"Eat the mat again, pretty boy!"
     Naturally, Hayden's fair countenance arouses the WhoDat's wrath...
Hayden confided that he believed his lips would actually crack during this segment.
"Look! He's smiling for the camera! He likes it!"
At this point, Sean can no longer bear to look.
     Any brief reprieve that Hayden enjoys during this match is just an intermission between periods of torment...
Hayden would wrestle this match with lipstick smears all over his face, courtesy of the amorous WhoDat?
     Perhaps Hayden's greatest humiliation comes when the WhoDat? drags him around the ring by his hair, making him walk in circles on his hands and knees, like a dog...
"Hey Sandman, look at your partner! 'In dreams, I walk with you...'"
     The WhoDat? provides a graphic narration as he applies a long, punishing head-scissors on Hayden...
"Right now, I'm tearing the cartilage in his ears. That's how wrestlers get cauliflower ears."
What's next in store for our young hero?
Body scissors! "Your legs are three times stronger than your arms," the WhoDat? lectures.
Simultaneous body scissors and arm bar! "Which hurts more?"
     When the WhoDat? goes to work on Hayden's legs and elicits a bone-chilling shriek from the young man, we are forced to do a video edit.
"Now, Sean used this hold on you in the last match, but he didn't really do it right..."
     The match resumes, and the punishment continues...
Dragging Hayden by his ear.
    
"Some cannibalistic tribes believe..."
"...that you gain the strength of your enemies by consuming their flesh."

"Thought I was going to eat you alive, didn't you?"
"I could tear your throat out right now. Don't resist me!"
A modified camel clutch puts quite a strain on Hayden's neck muscles.
Hayden's fingers were quite flexible. None were broken in this scene.
The Masked WhoDat? decides to apply a figure-four leg lock to Hayden Beaulieu
     When the Masked WhoDat? applied the figure-four leg lock, referee Sean Evans finally saw an opportunity to end this brutal, no-disqualification, no-time-limit match. As the WhoDat? applied the maneuver, Hayden's shoulders were inadvertently pinned to the mat, so Sean quickly delivered a three-count. The bell rang, the match was over, and the WhoDat? was declared winner via pinfall.
     That's the end of this match...but it's not the end of this video. The WhoDat? refused to break the hold, regardless of repeated requests by referee Sean Evans. As Hayden pleaded for help, Sean reached his breaking point.
Sean didn't pull any punches as he forced the WhoDat? to break the hold.
Hayden scurried from the mat room as the action got out of control.
The fight moved from the living room into the patio...

...and finally into the backyard, where Sean unceremoniously dumped the WhoDat? into an abandoned well.
Hayden joined Sean to check on the carnage.
Strangely enough, Hayden seemed more worried about the WhoDat's condition; Sean was totally apathetic.
Then a robin appears next to the abandoned well, symbolizing the arrival of light...
...and an end to the WhoDat's creepy and bizarre world of darkness.
Sean helps his injured partner walk to a nearby bench...
...and takes a seat at Hayden's side.

The two young men contemplate their future...
...as the robin continues to chirp in an agitated, protective manner.
Bobby Vinton's original version of "Blue Velvet" plays as we see candid footage of Sean and Hayden bonding during the shoot. The credits roll.

(The LRW Locker Room page has been updated to reflect the outcome of this match.)
     To purchase the HIGH DEFINITION, 3.70 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the PC-friendly .wmv format for a mere $13.99 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
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NOTE: If you do not have a top tier, ultra high speed internet connection, the download time for this version may be considerable. Also, a successful download via moderate or slow internet speeds may require several attempts. Those without extremely high speed internet connections may wish to download the Standard Definition version available via the link below. (At any rate, it is always recommended that you close all other programs when downloading video files.)

     To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 1.12 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the quickly and easily downloadable, hugely popular .mp4 format for a mere pittance of $9.95 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below... 
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  NOTE: This is actually the highest quality .mp4 video we've ever offered, and some may consider it to be High Definition. It's a really excellent deal!!!

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Friday, September 9, 2016

Video #6: Kurt Mendelsohn Overpowers Sean Evans (and "Ringside" Gets It Right)

      "Ringside at Skull Island" reviewed this match, and Blogger Joe got it right -- totally.
     No, "there's not much in the way of storyline or wrestling moves." Heck, there's no storyline at all. The only time LRW Wrestling concocted a storyline was when Shane Saunders arrived from UCW Wrestling (and that angle practically wrote itself). That's not to say LRW will never again feature "story lines similar to what you would see on WWE, ROH, or TNA." (We plan to deliver a full-blown, pro-wrestling style homage to David Lynch's "Blue Velvet" if and when we can corral enough wrestlers/models/actors for that out-of-the-box concept.)
     As for wrestling moves...huh? Neither Kurt nor Sean (nor most of our roster) had any prior wrestling experience when they were signed. As Joe mentioned, LRW produces matches featuring "healthy, good-looking guys tossing and tumbling in front of a fixed-position camera." Although Joe would prefer "a mix of sustained athletic holds like scissors, figure-fours, chinlocks, and the like," Joe also admits that "the wrestlers' spirit counts for a lot too, and these guys have it." (Behind-the-scenes information: During this match's spirited give-and-take, we had to stop the action mid-match and shoot some promotional stills because Sean had become nauseous and he needed a break.)
     Face it, if you're a wrestling purist, you want Movimus, not us. LRW Wrestling hires "wrestlers with photogenic appeal," and that remains our primary focus. (The LRW wrestlers are guys we would pay to see if they were jobbing at a local indie pro event, based on their looks alone.) LRW is basically for fans who want to see eye-candy roughhousing on a gaudy pink wrestling mat. (LRW blurs the line between "works" and "shoots," and match #6 is mostly a "shoot" similar in spirit to our initial offering, Triple F vs. Kyle O'Connor).
     Blogger Joe labeled Kurt Mendelsohn as "hot" and said that "his personality and energy carry the show" while referring to Sean Evans as "tight-lipped" and categorizing him as "an artsy house-music type." Although those descriptions are valid (and memorably phrased), Joe's reaction to the two wrestlers is typically quite different from mine. In this match-up, my heart was with Sean all the way. Sean initially charmed me in his introductory interview, and he never stopped.
      Kurt, on the other hand, was not what I expected, based on his modeling portfolio's photos. I had anticipated working with a preppy, college athlete and ended up with a tatted-up super villain who would have functioned quite well among "the ape-shit insanities of UCW" (Joe's words again, third paragraph here). This was Kurt's second invitation to work on an LRW video; previously, he had been a last-minute cancellation. When Kurt arrived, tardy, unshaven, and full of hubris, I told him that he reminded me of a young Donald Trump. (Kurt did not react, and I assume that he was flattered by the comparison.)
     It seems ironic that, in the blog that I used to regularly publish, I frequently railed against UCW for allowing "heels" to dominate their federation. Now that I have my own fed, I'm chagrined by the fact that nearly every match has turned out contrary to my wishes (with the notable exception of match #4, which was basically a lose small / lose big situation). What happens during LRW tapings seems to reflect what goes on in life (and society) in general: Nice Guys Finish Last.
      Blogger Joe is almost guilty of posting a "spoiler" when he notes, "Sean puts up a better offense than I expected, given his size relative to Kurt's, but Kurt steamrolls over him time and time again." That's basically how this match goes, folks. At the end of this bit of "anarchic recklessness" which Joe "associate(s) with backyard and basement wrestling of the 1990s," Kurt's hand is raised in victory. (Our Locker Room page has been updated to reflect the result of this encounter.)
     LRW Wrestling is currently searching for a handsome, heroic "face" with the physical size (and maybe even a smidgen of grappling know-how) capable of defeating Kurt Mendelsohn. Otherwise, we'll have to give Kurt a title shot, which will be another lose-lose proposition for us and for our fans. Yes, our current champion, Fratboy Francis Franklin (aka "Triple F") is a bit of a brat, but at least he has class. Kurt Mendelsohn is, by anyone's estimation, a ruffian unlike any wrestler we've hired previously. (No, Joe, our previous matches haven't been "more sedate," but our hirees have been.)
     At any rate, time to pay the bills (and our photogenic young men's salaries)...
     This extremely fast-paced video is 17 minutes and 4 seconds long. That includes the 12 minute, 13 second actual match (along with wrestler introductions), plus a brief, postmatch interview with each combatant.
     To purchase the HIGH DEFINITION, 1.56 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the PC-friendly .wmv format for a mere $13.99 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
Buy Now
NOTE: If you do not have a top tier, ultra high speed internet connection, the download time for this version may be considerable. Also, a successful download via moderate or slow internet speeds may require several attempts. Those without extremely high speed internet connections may wish to download the Standard Definition version available via the link below. (At any rate, it is always recommended that you close all other programs when downloading video files.)
     To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 748 MB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the quickly and easily downloadable, hugely popular .mp4 format for a mere pittance of $9.95 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
Buy Now
NOTE: This is actually a rather high quality .mp4 video, similar to the version we produced for our last LRW Wrestling offering. It's a really excellent deal!!!