You poisoned my sweet water.
You cut down my green trees.
The food you fed my children
Was the cause of their disease.
My world is slowly falling down
And the air's not good to breathe.
And those of us who care enough,
We have to do something...
[Chorus:]
Oh... Oh What you gonna do about me?
Oh... Oh What you gonna do about me?
Your newspapers,
They just put you on.
They never tell you
The whole story.
They just play the
Real issues down.
I was wondering -- could this be the end
Of our pride and glory?
I work in your factory.
I study in your schools.
I was in the penitentiary.
And the military too.
And I feel the future trembling,
As the word gets passed around.
"If you stand up for what you do believe,
Be prepared to be shot down. "
And I feel like a stranger
In the land where I was born
And I live like an outlaw.
And I'm always on the run...
And they keep on trying to bust me
But I always take a stand...
I believe the revolution
Must be mighty close at hand...
I smoke marijuana
But I can't get behind your wars.
And most of what I do believe
Is against most of your laws
I'm a fugitive from injustice
But I'm going to be free.
'Cause your rules and regulations
They don't do a damn thing for me
And I feel like a stranger
In the land where I was born
And I run like an outlaw.
And I'm always on the run.
And although they may be stronger now,
Our time will come around.
They're just adding to our numbers,
Every time they shoot our people down.
 |
| "Hollywood" Shane Saunders intro: "F*ck you, LRW fans. I'm here to take your belt and shut down your federation." |
Yes, the above screen cap features the same Shane Saunders upon whom I showered effusive praise during countless blog reviews of UCW videos, ever since
the young man's debut match. Gone is
the red, white and blue gear that Shane wore during our last production (
Video #3), as well as his faux patriotic, Hulk Hogan themed, "I am a Real American" entrance music. In Video #4, "Hollywood" Shane is wearing star-studded trunks ("just as you'll see on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame") and he enters to UCW Wrestling's theme music (flaunting his allegiance to our competitors). In sports-entertainment, history also repeats itself.
Like Ted Turner vis-à-vis Vince McMahon during the Monday Night Wars, I am in a difficult position when it comes to my relationship with UCW Wrestling founder Michael Bodyslam. My business relationship with Shane -- and perhaps with UCW as well -- went sour when I challenged the hype concerning Shane's Los Angeles background. As a result, Shane doubled down on the semi-fiction (just maybe he actually did live in North Hollywood during a portion of his college career) and Bodyslam chastised me for "breaking kayfabe."
Truthfully, I'm still uncertain whether Shane's promise to defend the LRW Wrestling Super-Star Championship belt solely in UCW videos was a petulant outburst of his own, or a defacto "hostile corporate takeover attempt" orchestrated by UCW owners Michael Bodyslam and/or Ethan Axel Andrews. (Neither UCW owner has commented, either publicly or privately, on the matter. I do know that Shane was in constant contact with Bodyslam via cellphone, from the moment that I picked him up at the airport, but what they were discussing is anyone's guess.)
Shane's Video #3 opponent,
Cameron Murphy, refereed the championship match in Video #4. Although a victory by Shane would put an effective end to LRW Wrestling, I instructed Cameron to officiate the bout with no bias whatsoever and the gentleman from the great state of New Hampshire promised me that he would. (Robbing Shane of the title in a rigged match would leave me with a championship belt as worthless as a Democratic nomination handed to Hillary by DNC superdelegates.)
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| Cameron: "Let me get this for you, sir." Shane: "What the hell? Why are you rubbing my corner with the Ryan Kidd rag?" |
That didn't mean that we were above screwing with Shane's mind. During the pre-fight publicity, we made it clear that our reigning LRW Champion, the fabulous Fratboy Francis Franklin (aka "Triple F") would be channeling the spirit of Ryan Kidd (
an indy pro wrestler who we sponsor) for inspiration. We had Ryan Kidd memorabilia posted all over the mat room and, in the photo above, Cameron is using
a Ryan Kidd rally towel to clean Shane's corner.
 |
| The psychological warfare seemed to be taking its toll on Shane before the match even began. |
 |
| LRW Wrestling Super-Star Champion "Triple F" |
Shane's discomfort continued to grow as LRW Wrestling Super-Star Champion "Triple F" entered the mat area clad in Ryan Kidd ring-worn gear (which we won in
the first-ever Ryan Kidd Fabric Free-For-All).
Early in the match, Shane dominated (as expected, due to his wealth of wrestling know-how) but referee Cameron Murphy kept him in check when he attempted a maneuver that resembled a choke hold. Being used to grappling in UCW's no-rules style, Shane was clearly perturbed by the reprimand.
Things were looking grim for LRW Wrestling as Triple F seemed incapable of countering Shane's leg scissors, which the UCW star applied frequently during the match's opening minutes.
At the 3:47 mark, Shane applied a punishing armbar, but Triple F refused to submit to the brutal joint lock maneuver. (Triple F's stoicism was motivated by the Ryan Kidd vs. Tony Kozina "shoot" match which
we discussed in an earlier blog entry.)
At 4:39 minutes into the match, Shane caught Triple F in a Camel Clutch, the excruciating chin lock finisher which the Iron Sheik used to defeat Bob Backlund for the WWF Championship in 1983. Still, our LRW Wrestling Super-Star Champion refused to submit!
At the 6:02 mark, an important verbal exchange occurs. Shane applies a bearhug and lifts Triple F off the mat. At that point, Shane threatens Triple F, "You don't know how f*cked you are right now. I'm going to throw you to the ground." Referee Cameron Murphy immediately speaks up: "Hey, watch it! If he gets slammed, you're disqualified." (This is in keeping with
the LRW Wrestling rules: "As in high school wrestling, you are responsible for returning your
opponent safely to the mat; no pro wrestling 'bodyslams' are allowed.") Shane grumbles, but honors the official's request.
After the referee's warning, more grappling ensues, and Shane continues his dominance (to be honest, Triple F was able to launch very little -- if any -- offense during this match). Soon Shane has Triple F trapped in a vicious, over-the-knee backbreaker. However, once again, the LRW Wrestling Super-Star Champion demonstrates his intestinal fortitude by bravely enduring the sadistic maneuver.
After the two grapplers circle each other with intensity burning in their eyes, Shane overpowers Triple F during a test of strength. An apparent choke hold once again draws the ire of the referee.
"Shane, watch the hands!" referee Cameron Murphy warns. "Yeah, yeah -- shut the f*ck up," the insolent UCW star responds before acquiescing to the request and readjusting the hold.
Soon thereafter (following a break in the action due to an out-of-bounds whistle), the climactic moment of the match occurs. Shane once again lifts Triple F off the mat while administering a bearhug. The "thinking man's champion" seizes the opportunity by shouting in Shane's ear, "UCW sucks!"
Shane reacts exactly as Triple F expected him to -- instinctively throwing the champ to the mat in a fit of rage.
Naturally, referee Cameron Murphy immediately shouts, "Illegal slam! Disqualified!" while blowing his whistle to signify the end of the match. "Hollywood" Shane pounds the mat in frustration, realizing that his attempt to establish a New World Order -- or at least a New Wrestling Order among underground feds on the east coast -- has failed miserably.
In a David vs. Goliath (or perhaps a Bernie vs. Hillary) match-up, Triple F has once again successfully defended the LRW Wrestling Super-Star Championship title against a far more powerful foe, and the belt won't be going to Philadelphia after all!
 |
| "Triple F" rises from the mat looking both smug and relieved. |
In the end, Shane Saunders proved to be a counter-revolutionary (off the mat, he's a political conservative from a somewhat reactionary state) who was unable to subvert LRW Wrestling -- a truly revolutionary federation in the underground wrestling scene!
 |
| Our "Locker Room" page has been updated to reflect the won-lost records of these wrestlers following this match. |
Shane Saunders is the quintessential "company man" who could not maintain his composure when his corporate identity was blasphemed. Also exploring the link between politics and sports-entertainment, my good friend Blogger Joe said in
a review of UCW video #271 (a match featuring the odious Quinn Harper, who abused Shane horribly in his UCW debut match* -- and may be a big part of the reason why the kid was such a prick by the time he came to work for me): "I have some reservations about the match, too. For one, I don't much care for the representation of the underclass as bullies, intent only on destroying what their vastly more capable and morally superior masters have built. It could be a bit of a swerve away from UCW's usual 'working-class' ethos, but this is the sort of thing likely to put off only an old radical socialist like me. To be fair (and accurate), Quinn and Stay-C play upstart punks, not union organizers. Obviously, their class warfare is only a clamor for attention, not a liberation movement...I'm alarmed by how close this depiction approaches real life."
Contract be damned, Shane wasn't about to stick around for any postmatch interview; he insisted -- well, strongly suggested -- that I pay for his hotel room before catching a flight home (not to L.A.) the next morning. Shane got what he wanted and vanished into the darkness.
My interview with Triple F was like no conversation we ever had previously. I realized that, in the past, I had favored Triple F's opponents (Kyle O'Connor, Nathaniel Noel) and that hadn't been fair to him. Furthermore, I was awed by the bumps he had taken to defend my business -- at the hands of a renegade grappler who was used to battling without rules.
 |
| "Triple F -- you earned this, bro." |
Triple F informed me that he had, in fact, been inspired by Ryan Kidd's example as he wrestled this match. When I mentioned that Shane was totally loyal to UCW, Triple F gestured toward our championship belt and said, "Just as I'm loyal to this." I concluded the interview by telling Triple F that there was an entirely new understanding between us now -- and I meant that sincerely. We are embarking on a new era in the relationship between LRW Wrestling and our controversial titleholder.
 |
| "You're my champion, and I hope you stay my champion for a long time." |
*Shane's actual UCW debut was against Quinn Harper, but his match against Eli Black (in which he was already sporting bruises from the Harper beating) was released first.
At any rate...
This video, our fourth presentation, is thirteen minutes and forty-three seconds long. That includes the wrestler introductions, the actual match, and a postmatch interview with the winner (the loser was unavailable for comment).
To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 268 MB, 1280 x 720 version of this video in the quickly and easily downloadable, hugely popular .mp4 format for a mere pittance of $9.95 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
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| Yeah, you guys in Philadelphia...it's a beautiful belt -- but go fabricate your own. |
