As many of you know, I often used my favorite music videos to introduce reviews of UCW matches at my other blog ("Old Freddie Young's Blog" which can be viewed
HERE). In this case, "Karma" by boy-band NLT (circa 2008) serves as the perfect intro for LRW Wrestling video #2: Triple F vs. Nathaniel Noel.
To provide you with a bit of LRW history, in our first video, Fratboy Francis Franklin aka Triple F scored an upset victory over the favored Kyle O'Connor by
utilizing an admittedly brilliant strategy. Then the new LRW Super-Star Champion immediately lost all respect by delivering
a humiliating paddling to an exhausted Kyle after the match was over.
Well, in video #2, Triple F faces a new opponent, Nathaniel Noel -- a Northern New England import (by way of Nashua, New Hampshire) -- who is sort of like a Kyle O'Connor with a killer streak. In
his introductory interview, Nathaniel carried a sack containing a mysterious weapon -- one which he insisted was purely defensive -- to "neutralize" Triple F's frat paddle, if it came into play.
As LRW video #2 begins, Nathaniel opts to perform a breakdance to Eminem's "Lose Yourself," attempts a handstand...
...and loses his balance.
If this was literature, the mishap would be termed, "foreshadowing"...
...because you see, ladies and gentlemen, Nathaniel Noel totally dominates his match against Triple F, yet the wily elitist from Connecticut's Fairfield County -- the boyhood friend of Martha Stewart, the male model and fashion magazine coverboy, the "thinking man's champion" -- manages to retain his title.
When Triple F is introduced, he is relaxed and confident, raising his frat paddle to his imaginary legions of fans as if he is affecting a royal salute (a contrast from his video #1 intro, in which he petulantly brandished that potential weapon,
menacingly glancing about my living room, seemingly on the verge of smashing my late mother's prized antiques).
Thanks to a coin toss, Nathaniel begins the match in the offensive (top or superior) position, and he controls Triple F for 47 seconds, picking up points for riding time (an aspect of collegiate wrestling which has been incorporated into
the LRW Wrestling rules). The burly, wholesome U Mass-Amherst chemistry major then attempts a pin but manages to tap the mat only twice before Triple F kicks out and escapes Nathaniel's clutches.
Returning to a neutral position, Nathaniel soon regains control, continuing to out-muscle Triple F as the champ merely tries to survive Nathaniel's pinfall attempts. Throughout this match, Triple F mounts little to no offense against his powerfully built adversary.
Nathaniel, the "master of the sleeper hold," attempts his patented maneuver at the video's five-minute mark, but Triple F cleverly rolls out of bounds to save himself. In accordance with LRW rules, Triple F announces, "Out of bounds! Break!" which causes Nathaniel to immediately raise his hands and back away. (Had Nathaniel maintained the hold for five seconds after being declared out-of-bounds, he would have been disqualified upon review of the match.)
Nathaniel seems as angered by Triple F's poor sportsmanship in video #1 as the rest of the LRW viewing public. When Triple F attempts to squirm out of bounds again (shortly after the video's nine-minute mark), Nathaniel catches him in a headlock at the edge of the circle. Driving Triple F headfirst into the mat, Nathaniel gloats, "Yeah, I'll rub your face into that line -- just what you deserve." Triple F moans something that sounds like, "Oh, God."
At the video's twelve-minute mark, Nathaniel makes two, quick attempts at over-the-knee backbreakers. Although Triple F manages to escape both of them (barely), the backbreaker attempts are clearly painful, softening up Triple F for what will immediately follow. By this stage of the match, the champ has very little left.
Forty-three seconds later, Nathaniel cinches in his signature move, the Sleeper Hold, with Triple F clearly in bounds. Triple F immediately begins to cough in a disingenuous ploy to portray Nathaniel's maneuver as a choke hold. (During
the interview I conducted with Nathaniel, he proved to me that his maneuver does indeed cease blood flow to the carotid arteries; one's breathing is not affected -- but it's quite an unpleasant experience nonetheless. For a concise discussion of "Respiratory vs. Vascular Holds" go
here.)
I should probably note here that I would
never allow choke holds to be utilized in LRW Wrestling
as they are routinely used in MMA and in UCW Wrestling. (As a matter of fact, UCW's no-rules approach to wrestling allowed Eli Black to win their All-Star title belt by choking out Hunter Day during his first interview as champion. My decision to create LRW was done, in large part, as a reaction to that.)
Being a man of questionable ethics, Triple F reached for his frat paddle as he was sinking into unconsciousness. The opportunistic champion hit Nathaniel with a desperate swing over his right shoulder. Although Nathaniel wasn't hurt by the blow, I had to immediately disqualify Triple F for using a weapon during the match. The match would go into the record book as a win for Nathaniel (we've begun publishing the wrestlers' won-lost records on
our Locker Room page now), but the championship belt cannot change hands on a disqualification.
My timekeeper at the bell, Cy Coco (yes, he works for me now*) rang the bell to signify the end of the match, but Nathaniel refused to release his hold until Triple F was knocked out.
"No way he's going to take this away from me," Nathaniel muttered as he walked toward the mysterious sack that he'd been carrying. Reaching into the sack, Nathaniel extracted a roll of pink duct tape -- "color coordinated to match the LRW mat," Nathaniel noted.
Nathaniel dragged Triple F across the mat and draped him over a nearby chair. As Triple F grunted and made strange gurgling noises, Nathaniel taped the champion's wrists to the chair's legs.
Then Nathaniel grabbed Triple F's frat paddle and gave him a taste of karma. After match #1, Kyle O'Connor suffered one rather timid blow from Triple F. After match #2, Triple F receives three solid shots from Nathaniel.
When Nathaniel knocks the chair over, a dazed Triple F seems barely aware of his surroundings.
Following these post-match shenanigans, I am proud to raise Nathaniel's arm in victory...
...but it is a Pyrrhic victory, since Triple F retains the championship.
Once again, I found myself conducting a post-match interview with a fine young man who considered the match's outcome to be "heartbreaking." (I expected Nathaniel to be angry with me for disqualifying Triple F under these circumstances, but he was completely understanding.)
As for the individual who continues to represent my federation (unfortunately), Triple F reiterated his Nietzschean philosophy that the ends justify the means and the successful defense of the LRW Super-Star Championship was all that mattered.
By now you're wondering how you can purchase this little underground wrestling masterpiece. Well, here you go...
To purchase the HIGH DEFINITION, 1.82 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this
20 minute, 36 second video in the PC-friendly .wmv format for a mere
$13.99 -- utilize the
BUY NOW button below...
NOTE:
If you do not have a top tier, ultra high speed internet connection,
the download time for this version may be considerable. Also, a
successful download via moderate or slow internet speeds may require
several attempts. Those without extremely high speed internet
connections may wish to download the Standard Definition version
available via the link below. (At any rate, it is always recommended
that you close all other programs when downloading video files.)
To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 298 MB, 1280 x 720 version of this
20 minute, 36 second video in the quickly and easily downloadable,
hugely popular .mp4 format (which includes the pre-match intros, the
actual match, the post-match
action, and the post-match interviews) for a mere pittance of $9.95 --
utilize the BUY NOW button below...
(It
should be noted that the Standard Definition version of this video is
actually larger than the Standard Definition version of our first video.
At $9.95, it's really a great deal!!!)
*Inside joke for old-timers.
