Sunday, February 26, 2017

"The Sandman" Sean Evans vs. Hayden Beaulieu: How To Sabotage A Wrestling Video

Yes, this video is an homage to David Lynch's "Blue Velvet"

Having learned the Sleeper Hold from Nathaniel Noel, Sean Evans now calls himself, "The Sandman"
     Sean Evans' entrance to the mat area is somewhat self-indulgent, but fascinating. In keeping with his new "Sandman" persona, Sean's theme music is now Roy Orbison's "In Dreams." Sean performs a lithesome, lip-sync rendition of the operatic ballad that would make Dean Stockwell proud.
     However, "self-indulgent" doesn't even begin to describe Hayden Beaulieu's mat entrance...
Entering to Lana Del Rey's "Blue Velvet," Hayden basked in his own narcissism...

Hayden's performance was excruciatingly mesmerizing.

     This match was conceived as punishment for young Hayden's insolence during his introductory interview (in which he not only mistook me for "the Yellow Man" but also dared to call me "creepy and bizarre" -- a phrase that still stings, despite the passage of time). I vetoed the idea of a "Velvet Mafia" tag team combo, and insisted that the two would-be partners fight each other in a no-disqualification, no-submission match.
   
Hayden begins the match with his head bowed, like a sheep ready for slaughter
However, Sean also seems less than enthusiastic about the task at hand
     I am envisioning a long, highly marketable match in which Hayden attempts to tap out and submit on numerous occasions, to no avail. My role as referee would simply be to make sure that Sean sends the proper sort of "love letter" to the overly defensive, macho pretty-boy.
The match starts out competitively enough, with Sean taking my advice concerning the application of a leg lock.
     Of course, the entire plan hinges on the belief that Sean would place pragmatism ahead of emotion (i.e., a paycheck ahead of a "bromance").
After a proper 360 degree twist of Hayden's arm, I instruct Sean to force Hayden's wrist upward toward his shoulder blades...
      It seems like a win-win situation to me -- personal satisfaction coupled with an artistically and commercially successful video presentation.
...but after a scream from Hayden, Sean insists on keeping Hayden's wrist near the small of his back (a much less painful position)

At this point in the match, Hayden directs some profanity toward me; Sean seems to admire him for it...
...so it is immensely gratifying when Sean reaches for a handful of Hayden's impeccably coiffed hair...
...and almost rips it out of his scalp.
Maybe that will teach you to respect your elders.
Hayden is upset by the hair pulling, and he decides to show some offense (an almost fatal mistake).

Hayden charges at Sean, catching Sean in the face with an elbow. (Play it in slow motion, if you have the video.)
Sean is momentarily enraged. (Hayden may have whispered an apology to Sean with his back toward me and the camera.)
Hayden appears quite worried at this point.
Hayden is clearly frightened of Sean now.
Sean stalks his prey.
Payback Time
Sean goes for an impromptu over-the-knee back breaker. It could have been worse, Hayden.
Hayden howls for a while in the back breaker. Then Sean contorts Hayden's legs into pretzel shapes.
Oops...it's a dandy in distress -- as Sean prepares to apply his finishing maneuver.
Hayden knows what's about to happen, and he's not happy.
Hayden starting to feel the pressure...
Clutching Sean's arm isn't going to help you...
Oh, those carotid arteries are being squeezed shut...
This is when the desperation starts to set in...
I'm shouting encouragement to Sean, but he looks up at the ceiling, temporarily loosening his grip...
Now Sean tightens his grip once again...
Ah, yes...Sean now seems determined to get the job done...
As Hayden's face turns from red to purple, he gasps out, "You're killing me!"
Sean immediately releases the sleeper hold, and I'm flabbergasted.
Sean himself seems liberated after liberating Hayden from his finishing maneuver.
Sean tells me, "F*ck this!" and lies down on the mat.
Then Sean sits up and tells Hayden, "Pin me!"
Sean lies down again and waits for defeat.
Hayden administers his own three-count with Sean's shoulders clearly on the mat.
Sean happily raises Hayden's arm in victory. Under the rules, there was nothing I could do.
     Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The "bromance" survives, despite my best efforts. Naturally, there were no post-match interviews after this fiasco -- but I did include some behind-the-scenes footage. (The camera remained on after the match concluded, and you can hear me and the boys exchanging pleasantries).
     I apologize for the unexpected brevity of this video. I can only promise you that Hayden's next opponent will be his worst nightmare, and Hayden will be sent straight to hell in Video #9.
     Now, on to business...
     This video is 9 minutes and 47 seconds long, which includes the actual match, wrestler introductions, and some brief, post-match footage.
     To purchase the HIGH DEFINITION, 1.37 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the PC-friendly .wmv format for a mere $13.99 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
Buy Now     
NOTE: If you do not have a top tier, ultra high speed internet connection, the download time for this version may be considerable. Also, a successful download via moderate or slow internet speeds may require several attempts. Those without extremely high speed internet connections may wish to download the Standard Definition version available via the link below. (At any rate, it is always recommended that you close all other programs when downloading video files.) 

     To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 329 MB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the quickly and easily downloadable, hugely popular .mp4 format for a mere pittance of $9.95 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below... 
Buy Now
 NOTE: This is actually the highest quality .mp4 video we've ever offered, and some may consider it to be High Definition. It's a really excellent deal!!! 
 (P.S. Our Locker Room page has been updated to include the result of this match.)

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Video #8: Hayden Beaulieu vs. "The Sandman" Sean Evans (Available For Download)


A trapped macho narcissist.


      I just had the uncomfortable experience of watching Hayden Beaulieu's ring entrance in slow motion (with yours truly standing in the background) as I created the screen captures for this article. I hadn't realized that my emotions were so transparent, but I probably should have.
Watching Hayden's ring entrance in slow motion teaches you everything about the dynamics of this shoot
     At any rate, words often fail to describe the behind-the-scenes atmosphere at a video shoot, so I'll just let these pictures do the talking. A picture is worth 1,000 words anyway, and the body language and facial expressions in these screen caps are particularly poignant. (And yes, I am fully aware of how I come off in this video -- and even in Hayden's introductory interview -- but c'est la vie, we are who we are.)
Yes, a picture really is worth 1,000 words.
      This is, of course, a special "no disqualification" and "no submission" match -- a radical departure from our previous presentations, which were partially based on the rules of amateur wrestling (and my own perhaps misguided sense of protectiveness toward the guys I hired). In other words, Hayden can yell, "I quit!" and "I give up!" and tap the mat until he wears a hole in it -- and none of that will have any bearing on the match. What a concept! (This should satisfy "Ringside at Skull Island" and all of the LRW fans who have been clamoring for more long lasting, painful, submission holds.)
Sean Evans' pre-match demeanor

Enter "The Sandman"
 
     Does Hayden rally and score a victory over his would-be Velvet Mafia tag team partner, or does "The Sandman" successfully utilize his patented finishing maneuver and send the sheltered, small town, Connecticut youngster into dreamland? (Totally defenseless, in the clutches of an emotionally wounded, admittedly obsessed federation owner and his mercenary henchman -- once again, what a concept!)
Only in dreams...

      This video is 9 minutes and 47 seconds long, which includes the actual match and wrestler introductions (no post-match interviews were given).
     To purchase the HIGH DEFINITION, 1.37 GB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the PC-friendly .wmv format for a mere $13.99 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below...
Buy Now     
NOTE: If you do not have a top tier, ultra high speed internet connection, the download time for this version may be considerable. Also, a successful download via moderate or slow internet speeds may require several attempts. Those without extremely high speed internet connections may wish to download the Standard Definition version available via the link below. (At any rate, it is always recommended that you close all other programs when downloading video files.) 

     To purchase the STANDARD DEFINITION, 329 MB, 1920 x 1080 version of this video in the quickly and easily downloadable, hugely popular .mp4 format for a mere pittance of $9.95 -- utilize the BUY NOW button below... 
Buy Now
 NOTE: This is actually the highest quality .mp4 video we've ever offered, and some may consider it to be High Definition. It's a really excellent deal!!!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

LRW Wrestling's Hayden Beaulieu Sings "Blue Velvet"


 

     Please keep young Hayden Beaulieu in your thoughts and prayers -- he seems destined for some rough times. Poor baby.
     In this video, Hayden is introduced to the LRW Wrestling world as a budding chanteur, performing "Blue Velvet" in a style similar to Lana Del Rey's (as opposed to the classic Bobby Vinton version). Handling the intros is none other than Hayden's bosom buddy (and would-be Velvet Mafia tag team partner), Sean Evans.
     Of course, Old Freddie Young has put the kibosh on the whole Velvet Mafia idea, jeopardizing the tender bromance by forcing Sean and Hayden to fight each other -- no disqualifications and no submissions -- in the next LRW Wrestling production. After Hayden's disrespectful comments to Old Freddie ("creepy and bizarre" indeed!) and display of homophobic panic during his introductory interview, Freddie has behaved in an unhinged, vengeful manner mirroring Dennis Hopper's portrayal of Frank Booth in the David Lynch cult classic. Like Frank Booth's heterosexual obsession for a seductive, self-destructive chanteuse, Freddie's fixation on the neophyte grappler has prompted him to announce that he himself will serve as referee for the contest -- ensuring that Hayden endures maximum pain and suffering!!!
     Sean Evans is a recent college graduate who is up-to-his-neck in debt. Despite his bond with Hayden, Sean knows where his bread is buttered and who signs his paychecks. Sean is expected to put his personal feelings aside and punish Hayden unmercifully -- with Old Freddie driving him to commit even greater acts of cruelty!!! This sort of match is a major departure for LRW Wrestling, and Video #8 will be a presentation that you won't want to miss!!!