"The Sandman" Sean Evans vs. Hayden Beaulieu: How To Sabotage A Wrestling Video

Yes, this video is an homage to David Lynch's "Blue Velvet"

Having learned the Sleeper Hold from Nathaniel Noel, Sean Evans now calls himself, "The Sandman"

     Sean Evans' entrance to the mat area is somewhat self-indulgent, but fascinating. In keeping with his new "Sandman" persona, Sean's theme music is now Roy Orbison's "In Dreams." Sean performs a lithesome, lip-sync rendition of the operatic ballad that would make Dean Stockwell proud.

     However, "self-indulgent" doesn't even begin to describe Hayden Beaulieu's mat entrance...

Entering to Lana Del Rey's "Blue Velvet," Hayden basked in his own narcissism...

Hayden's performance was excruciatingly mesmerizing.

     This match was conceived as punishment for young Hayden's insolence during his introductory interview (in which he not only mistook me for "the Yellow Man" but also dared to call me "creepy and bizarre" -- a phrase that still stings, despite the passage of time). I vetoed the idea of a "Velvet Mafia" tag team combo, and insisted that the two would-be partners fight each other in a no-disqualification, no-submission match.
   

Hayden begins the match with his head bowed, like a sheep ready for slaughter

However, Sean also seems less than enthusiastic about the task at hand

     I am envisioning a long, highly marketable match in which Hayden attempts to tap out and submit on numerous occasions, to no avail. My role as referee would simply be to make sure that Sean sends the proper sort of "love letter" to the overly defensive, macho pretty-boy.

The match starts out competitively enough, with Sean taking my advice concerning the application of a leg lock.

     Of course, the entire plan hinges on the belief that Sean would place pragmatism ahead of emotion (i.e., a paycheck ahead of a "bromance").

After a proper 360 degree twist of Hayden's arm, I instruct Sean to force Hayden's wrist upward toward his shoulder blades...

      It seems like a win-win situation to me -- personal satisfaction coupled with an artistically and commercially successful video presentation.

...but after a scream from Hayden, Sean insists on keeping Hayden's wrist near the small of his back (a much less painful position)

At this point in the match, Hayden directs some profanity toward me; Sean seems to admire him for it...

...so it is immensely gratifying when Sean reaches for a handful of Hayden's impeccably coiffed hair...

...and almost rips it out of his scalp.

Maybe that will teach you to respect your elders.

Hayden is upset by the hair pulling, and he decides to show some offense (an almost fatal mistake).

Hayden charges at Sean, catching Sean in the face with an elbow. (Play it in slow motion, if you have the video.)

Sean is momentarily enraged. (Hayden may have whispered an apology to Sean with his back toward me and the camera.)

Hayden appears quite worried at this point.

Hayden is clearly frightened of Sean now.

Sean stalks his prey.

Payback Time

Sean goes for an impromptu over-the-knee back breaker. It could have been worse, Hayden.

Hayden howls for a while in the back breaker. Then Sean contorts Hayden's legs into pretzel shapes.

Oops...it's a dandy in distress -- as Sean prepares to apply his finishing maneuver.

Hayden knows what's about to happen, and he's not happy.

Hayden starting to feel the pressure...

Clutching Sean's arm isn't going to help you...

Oh, those carotid arteries are being squeezed shut...

This is when the desperation starts to set in...

I'm shouting encouragement to Sean, but he looks up at the ceiling, temporarily loosening his grip...

Now Sean tightens his grip once again...

Ah, yes...Sean now seems determined to get the job done...

As Hayden's face turns from red to purple, he gasps out, "You're killing me!"

Sean immediately releases the sleeper hold, and I'm flabbergasted.

Sean himself seems liberated after liberating Hayden from his finishing maneuver.

Sean tells me, "F*ck this!" and lies down on the mat.

Then Sean sits up and tells Hayden, "Pin me!"

Sean lies down again and waits for defeat.

Hayden administers his own three-count with Sean's shoulders clearly on the mat.

Sean happily raises Hayden's arm in victory. Under the rules, there was nothing I could do.

     Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The "bromance" survives, despite my best efforts. Naturally, there were no post-match interviews after this fiasco -- but I did include some behind-the-scenes footage. (The camera remained on after the match concluded, and you can hear me and the boys exchanging pleasantries).
     I apologize for the unexpected brevity of this video. I can only promise you that Hayden's next opponent will be his worst nightmare, and Hayden will be sent straight to hell in Video #9.
     Now, on to business...
     This video is 9 minutes and 47 seconds long, which includes the actual match, wrestler introductions, and some brief, post-match footage.
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 (P.S. Our Locker Room page has been updated to include the result of this match.)